Last Drive: Alfa Romeo Stelvio Quadrifoglio

I’m ignoring the flashing amber warning light on the gauge cluster and drowning out safety bings with the stereo. I’d rather risk turning this Alfa Romeo Stelvio Quadrifoglio (and possibly myself) into charcoal than be forced to stop my assault on this twisty two-lane backroad.

Eventually I pulled over, restarted the car, and the warnings magically disappeared. Everything was fine. But to be so engaged with a vehicle that you’d rather risk life or limb for one more good stretch of pavement—that’s the Alfa Romeo experience in a nutshell.

Alfa’s Quadrifoglio line is destined for the crusher (or at least, electrification). It’s a sad fate for one of the best performance names out there. So I wanted one last go in what—for my money—is the best performance SUV south of six figures. The Stelvio Quadrifoglio starts at $88,965 for 2024, and costs $94,910 as tested with a few options.

The brainchild of Sergio Marchionne—the mad scientist and CEO behind some of Fiat-Chrysler’s most iconic cars—he asked engineers from Maranello to build a twin-turbocharged, 2.9-liter V-6 over an espresso break. And boy did they.

With a hearty 505 horsepower and 443 pound-feet of torque, the Stelvio Quad launches to 60 miles per hour in 3.6 seconds. It’s fast—but so are so many other butched-up SUVs in this segment. The Mercedes-AMG GLC63 will get you to 60 mph in a blistering 3.4 seconds. The Jaguar F-Pace SVR will do it in 3.8. The difference is in the application of power.

The Stelvio puts down power brutally, emotionally, and effortlessly. It rips off the line with ridiculous speed while a Ferrari-adjacent soundtrack bellows from its quad exhaust tips. Yank the chunky column-mounted aluminum paddle shifters and the eight-speed automatic clunks into gear with purpose. Find a long enough stretch of road, and the Stelvio Quad will race to a top speed of 177 miles per hour.

For its swan song, Alfa ditched the electric torque vectoring for a real mechanical limited-slip differential. It probably makes more of a difference on the rear-wheel-drive Giulia than it does on the all-wheel-drive Stelvio, but it’s still a nice thing to have when you’re hammering it hard on a curvy road. They also sharpened up the performance drive modes and tweaked the ride—but the changes are hardly noticeable. The Stelvio still attacks turns like a tall hot hatchback.

The steering feel is *chef’s kiss;* It’s quick, accurate, and communicative on an atomic level. Some might say it’s so fast that it borders on twitchy. Cowards. The steering wheel itself feels perfect in hand—it’s not too thin and not overly thick, with a sumptuous combo of stitched leather and Alcantara.

Divebomb into a corner and the Stelvio barely has any body roll, the steering is fluid, and the suspension is predictable. “Vagueness” isn’t a word that exists in the Quadrofolio dictionary; Everything about this vehicle was built for maximum attack.

Living with the Stelvio Quad is less fun. Even with the supposed softer suspension and the adaptive dampers in their cushiest setting, the ride is stiff as hell. The optional 21-inch wheels and low-profile tires, while great for engagement, offer no reprieve. The standard 20-inch rims are probably a bit softer. The Stelvio is loud at highway speeds too; A ton of wind and tire noise enters the cabin, and you can hear every kicked-up pebble bouncing around underneath the chassis.

The transmission is also clunky at low speeds and the high-performance brakes are impossible to modulate. The big Brembos are nice to have for spirited driving but will give you whiplash in the grocery store parking lot.

But it’s not all terrible. This is still a luxury SUV, which means the interior is loaded with lovely materials like stitched leather and Alcantara. The 8.8-inch touchscreen is bigger and nicer than before, and bucket seats are sublime. The front leather thrones are eight-way power adjustable and have more than enough bolstering and back support to keep you contained in corners.

Even with upgrades, the in-cabin technology still isn’t amazing. The infotainment screen’s home layout is cluttered with options and the touchscreen interface is about as responsive as an iPhone 4. Multiple times I accidentally clicked through too many options in frustration at the slow response time.

And as far as doing SUV things—hauling family and luggage, for example—there are better options. The Stelvio’s front compartment is roomy but the back seat is tight and the cargo hold is minimal. You only get 18.5 cubic feet behind the second row and 56.5 cubes with the back seats folded flat. That’s on par with the Macan but well below the BMW X3 and Mercedes-Benz GLC. The same goes for fuel economy; The Stelvio Quad gets just 17 miles per gallon in the city, 23 on the highway, and 19 combined.

For hauling ass, though, you won’t find another SUV in this segment that does it better. The Alfa Romeo Stelvio Quadrofiglio puts performance first with its delicious Ferrari-derived V-6 and a suspension designed for sports cars. Sure, you’ll have to settle for limited cargo space and lesser-than-excellent fuel economy—but it’s well worth it, trust me.